Not So Quick...

After last night's dinner debacle, we decided that we were going to flush the Bisquick down the toilet.  There are so many additives in Bisquick, though, that it might turn into concrete.  So Bisquick might be good for something.  Like spackling.  Bisquick might make fine spackle.


I scrambled somewhat tonight.  I knew what I was going to make, but I wasn't sure how I was going to execute it.  In a previous post, i alluded to a pasta disaster.  Tonight I made gnocchi, and the possibility for a repeat disaster loomed somewhat large.  


I had a half cup of semolina flour and about the same amount of farina, and that would have to do for a basic dough.  That went into the food processor, along with two eggs, a bit of water, and several king-sized dollops of leftover mashed potatoes.


I made one mistake immediately:  I poured the flour in before the eggs.  I realized my error as I watched the flour whirl around and around in the food processor while I added the eggs.  Oh yeah, I'd added the potatoes, too.  I'd reserved a bit of the flour in case the ingredients didn't come together as they should have.  After I'd added everything, the dough was the consistency of an unattended Icee.


There was no getting around it.  Break out the Bisquick.


I added the Bisquick very gingerly in an effort to use the least amount possible.  No telling how much I'd used until the dough began to assume any semblance of cohesion, and I didn't want to use anymore because I didn't want dinner to taste like fabric softener.  


I tried to mill some polenta (okay, grits.  Okay, gree-yits) in the Ninja, one of my most useful appliances.  I got it for Christmas a couple of years ago, and immediately I was skeptical.  Just by looking at it, I knew there was an infomercial for it, yet I'd never even seen the infomercial.  After I'd used it, however, you could've knocked me over with a flapjack.  It makes routine prep work pretty effortless; however, it makes pretty awful guacamole, and I stripped it out some making snow-cone grade ice.  So the verdict on the Ninja is:  almost indispensable for small tasks and tasks for which you don't to drag out the blender or food processor, just don't use it to make guacamole or margaritas.


Nor is it good for milling polenta.  I'd pulsed it for quite awhile, to virtually no effect.  But screw it.  I'd probably ruined the gnocchi after the Bisquick addition (and at this point, I'm beginning to enjoy using the word Bisquick the same way I enjoy using the word flapjack.  Maybe we should keep the Bisquick so that one morning I can say, "How about some Bisquick flapjacks!"  Well, I can say Bisquick flapjack Bisquick flapjack whether we have Bisquick or we don't have Bisquick, so we're dumping the Bisquick down the annoying neighbor's toilet.  Besides, I don't eat breakfast), so why the heck not?  I'd added enough polenta to form a nice firm ball, and then divided it into four portions, and refrigerated them.


I'd never made gnocchi, but I think it's safe to say that the process of making mine was inordinately tortuous.  However, they also turned out pretty alright.  They floated to the surface of the boiling obediently, and they were very toothsome to the bite.  They also paired quite nicely with my piecemeal sauce of bacon, chorizo, and avjar.  


Oddly, Bisquick actually helped save this meal.  Don't get me wrong, I'll never use that shit again, but this time I'll begrudgingly cut it some slack.


Thanks Bisquick.


That was fun to say.  "Thanks Bisquick!  Ha ha!"

  Gnocchi with Bacon, Chorizo, and Avjar Sauce.