Pizza-making, it seems, has become a Sunday ritual of late. I enjoy making them, and we enjoy eating them, which are good reasons to continue the ritual if you ask me, at least until we get tired of pizza. Who gets tired of pizza?
I'd been making thin-crust pizzas, with admirable-to-awesome results, but this past Sunday, I decided I wanted to try making a deep-dish. I really like Star Pizza's deep-dish pizza. I'm sure it's nothing like the one you can get at Vinnie's or wherever in Chicago, but taste good is taste good, and Star's tastes good. I'd hoped to get close.
We bought some whole milk mozzarella at Phoenicia with the intent to make some sub sandwiches. Man, I tell ya, if I had to pick one store to shop at, it would be a tough call between Phoenicia and Spec's. Spec's has liquor and Phoenicia doesn't, so I guess Spec's (not like I drink that much liquor anymore or anything), but Phoenicia runs a mere speck behind. If I had to choose two stores to shop at, there's no contest; in fact, if I could choose one store to buy food at and one store to buy liquor at, Phoenicia for the former, and Spec's for the latter. I should note here that Spec's also has a fine selection of coffees.
We didn't make the sub sandwiches, so we had cheese begging to be used. There's no finer way to use a pound of whole milk mozzarella than for pizza. I will submit that eating an entire block while watching baseball in your underwear is a close second, though. Furthermore, the lovely Mercedes wanted meatballs. A meatball pizza is tough to beat. This pizza was virtually in the stars.
I used this recipe for the dough. It was written by Jeff Smith, aka "The Frugal Gourmet," whose show I watched every single Saturday as a kid. I learned a lot from the show, even if TFG turned out to be a less-than-savory character.
The instructions' first paragraph reads thus:
In the bowl of a stand mixer (e.g. KitchenAid), dissolve the yeast in the water. Add the vegetable oil, olive oil, cornmeal, and half of the flour. Beat for 10 minutes. Attach the dough hook and mix in the remaining flour. Knead for several minutes with the mixer. (Note: because the dough is very rich and moist, it would be difficult to do this by hand.)
Baloney. After I'd mixed all the ingredients, I, against the advisement of the author of this recipe (don't know whether it was TFG or someone else) kneaded the dough by hand, and it was no more taxing than a game of tic-tac-toe.
In some ways, I could be a more resourceful cook. I could use what we have on hand more often, and I could use time more wisely. I am, however, very resourceful in terms of using the space I have alloted and the tools I have to work with. I've rolled out pie crusts on a surface that barely accommodates a pack of playing cards. My kitchen gadgets range from the serviceable (a knife I bought at a department store that needs constant sharpening, a potato masher I bought at Fiesta) to the really nice (Kitchenaid food processor. It was a Christmas gift.), but none of it's very fancy. No Le Creuset pots and pans, for example. Nor a Kitchenaid Mixmaster. Boy do I want one of those. I'll bet you can mix a nice batch of cement in one of those. Delicious cement. And I would, too!
What I'm trying to get at here is that I don't like the dialogue surrounding food these days. Neologisms like "foodie" - what a stupid term. Worse than that, the notion foisted upon us that ordinary folks can't eat good food. This dish requires truffles, everything tastes nutty (a lazy, tired food descriptor), you don't have the training, you can't make this pizza dough without some Fancy Pants appliance, that sort of shit. And celebrity chefs. Man they make my skin crawl. This butthole is the most egregious example:
Guy Fieri is not fit to scrub Jacque Pepin's bidet.
The dough was a breeze to make. Pizza dough isn't difficult at all, really. It's not like Pizza Hut harbors some secret to making pizza. You may never eat another Pizza Hut pizza or anyone else's after you've made a few of your own. There's something distinctly gratifying about making your own pizza from scratch. You feel accomplished, and not in a "hey, I could put Pizza Hut out of business!" way, although your pizza undoubtedly will taste better than Pizza Hut's.
I ended up making two deep-dish pizzas. We ate them for two days, and were quite satisfied. We also saved a wad of cash. We probably spent $10-$12 on these two pizzas, and that's using quality ingredients (kiss my ass, Papa John's). We would have spent upwards of $30 at Star, no sweat. Hell, we would have spent at least $20 at one of the more lowbrow joints. You don't want to know what you're getting from one of those places. I've worked at almost every one of them. Males have a propensity for making genitalia out of pizza dough, if that gives you any idea of some of the unhinged personalities at work. I've never seen anyone spit on a pizza, put a booger on a pizza, or clip his toenails over a pizza, but I believe that happens, and it probably doesn't take much provocation.
You're better off making pizza at home.
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